3 Guys, a House and a Web Site: How The Winch Stole Christmas
12/25/06

Every Sim
Down in Sim-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...


But the Winch,
Who lived just North of Sim-ville,
Did NOT!


The Winch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas juncture!
Now, please don't ask why, or my lung he will puncture.


It could be that his tailor miss-measured his waist
For his pants squeezed his gut like a tube of tooth paste.


But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His dick or his breeches,
He stood there each Christmas, hating those bitches,


Staring down from his home with a big, Winchy frown


At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Sim down in Sim-ville below
In door jams were hanging their Sim mistletoe


But the Winch never knew the joy of a kiss
His hair was all messed, and the color of piss
His breath reeked of eggnog, his cloths all a wrinkle
With a belly that matched even that of Chris Cringle
All ugly and pale what a bad Winchy sight
And let's not forget his pants were too tight


He would make them pay, all the sim girls and boys
He'd dress up like santa and steal all their toys.


He broke into their houses with nary a sound


It was lucky for him that no cops were around


For a man of his size he moved fairly quick
It's easy to run with a real tiny dick

With toys stolen and placed in his red woolen sack
He ran out the door with the sack on his back
The toys he had plundered with such blissful glee
"Christmas is ruined and it's all thanks to me!"


He raided their fridges and ate all he could


He was not on a diet, though maybe he should


When he took all there was in each house he would say
"For once in my life the Winch has his way."


He plundered the town and ran home in a flash
To see what he had taken could be sold for cash.


Then…
As he looked out his window to see what he had done
He saw all the Sims…


…having simtastic fun
They had no Sim presents, they had no Sim toys
But there they all were making Sim hooting noise.


The Winch was so mad that he just had a fit
"You've got to be kidding, whats with this damn shit!?"


"I took all their presents, their food and their drink
How could they be happy? On this I must think"


And he thought and he thought and he thought thought some more


Then he walked right outside so that he might explore


"Why do you all shout? Why the games and the laughes?
I ruined your Christmas you stupid dumb ass!"


Then he looked in the center of where they had gathered
He saw two lovely women all soapy and lathered
The women were naked, no bra and no panties
No wonder the Sims all came out of their shanties


Then he realized that Christmas was not about toys
It was not about dinners, or presents or noise
What makes people happy, each day of the year


Are hot naked women, unless you are queer


And what happened then...?
Well...in Sim-ville they say
That the Winch's small dick
Grew three sizes that day!


And the minute his cock didn't feel quite so small,
He whizzed with a load that released from his balls


And he brought back the toys!


And the food for the feast!
For all the Winch needed was sexual release


But what about Jesus, it's his day of birth


Well what happened to him filled the Winch with much mirth


After breaking the 52 inch screen TV


He sleeps on the streets with a remote for the Wii
He can't fit in a manger like he did years ago


And he gets shooed away like a dirty hobo